this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
