My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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