That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
