Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize