Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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