just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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