Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
