So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
