your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
