i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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