It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
