Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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