She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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