im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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