I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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