If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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