go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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