you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
