ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
