dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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