After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
did i just pee glitter
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
