Kiss
Puke
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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