i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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