is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drake has all the answers
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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