for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
