i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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