also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
