Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
