We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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