My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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