I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
