well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
