Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
