I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
