Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
And then he peed in my hair
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