seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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