I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
