with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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