ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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