You work out of a Hotel?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize