dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Randomize
