What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
