3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
