if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
