Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
