Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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