i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
