Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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