Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
