Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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