How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
