Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
