I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
