I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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