dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
