Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
