Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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