i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize