she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
