ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
