Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
