I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
