You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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