The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
